Canada's Revenge
by bufffycat
Summary: World meetings are boring if you are always left out of them. That is, unless you can find a way to get back at the nations that always forget you exist. And you know what they say, it's always the quiet ones...


_AN: I'm not in human verse? *Gasp!* Hope you like it! :)_

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Canada sighed softly, leaning back into his chair. The latest of world meetings was proceeding the same as they always had for the nation. He watched as the other nations argued over current problems. His brother would shout something ridiculous, Russia would disagree with a creepy smile and scary aura, England and France would be too busy shouting at one another to notice what was happening around them, and Germany looked about ready to hurt someone. Any opinions Canada had would either never be heard, or his very presence would be ignored. There were many times they would even forget a chair for him at the table. At the times when there was some semblance of order to their meetings, Canada would desperately try to take notes but would be continually interrupted by Kumachiki who would begin poking him and begging for food. Canada was beginning to wonder what he accomplished by attending any of the meetings.

Canada glanced at the clock, trying to figure how long the meeting would last before he could escape from the rest of the nations. Germany's power point seemed quite long today, always organized very neatly with bold legible fonts and supporting evidence to his reasoning. The meeting would be shorter if America didn't keep interrupting with nonsense questions. There would be a collective groan when he spoke. Spain was too busy trying to slide his chair closer to South Italy to notice what was happening and Romano kept shouting curse words trying to push the other away. This was distracting Switzerland who kept growling out orders for them to stop. Belarus had taken it upon herself to win her brother's heart by threatening the Baltic States into rejoining Russia and herself, and was now stalking them with her knives at the ready.

Clearly nothing was truly going to be accomplished today and Canada figured he could use a break. It wasn't as though he would be missed if he simply got up now and left the room. No one ever saw him anyway. He carefully picked up the sleeping Kumakero out of his lap and placed him on the floor. The tired polar bear yawned a "Who?" before returning to sleep. Seeing no point in telling the bear his name again, Canada stepped over the bear and decided he would just stretch his legs, perhaps get something to drink and clear his head before returning to the room to finish the meeting. The only one to notice Canada's exit was the ex-nation Prussia, who had been dragged there by his brother Germany insisting that he should represent East Germany, but had spent the morning staring into space, not interested in what was happening. Prussia raised a quizzical eyebrow to the Canadian's early departure, but Canada didn't even raise his eyes to meet the albino's as he walked towards the door. No one else had even known he attended the meeting, let alone was suddenly leaving it early.

Canada was lost in thoughts of his inability to stand out that he accidentally ran into a table that had been set up along the door. There had been a cup of pens, and the force of the Canadian's foot against the table had caused the cup to tip over and the pens to fall out on the table and floor with a loud clatter. A few glanced over, seeing nothing out of the ordinary and returned their attention to the front, most didn't even look over. America, upon hearing the noise, whipped his head in the direction of the table but didn't see his brother standing there wincing from his collision with the furniture. America's eyes widened and he started jabbing his neighbor England furiously. "England! England! I think there's a ghost! I don't see anything over there, but it was messing with stuff! You should check it out!"

"Don't be absurd." England was quick to reply, not looking away from his own notes in front of him. "There is nothing over there. You are imagining things."

"Heh, maybe your right." America calmed slightly, facing forward once again. "My imagination. Right." Canada heard it all, despite being across the room from his sibling. He wasn't sure what suddenly came over him, but he grabbed one of the spilled pens and hurled it with deadly accuracy at his brother. The pen hit America squarely on the back of his head and said nation leapt out his chair with a yelp. The meeting came to another halt and all eyes turned to the American.

"America! What is it now?!" Germany yelled from the front of the room, rage building from having to pause his presentation once again.

"Something hit me in the back of the head!" America cried, searching for evidence of what happened but finding none. England held a hand to his face wishing he had done a better job of raising his colony and Prussia's eyes flitted back and forth between the North American brothers attempting to make sense of what was occurring. Canada waited nervously for the outcome. He hadn't meant to get so upset, and certainly hadn't expected America to react the way he had. Germany wasn't taking the situation very well.

"America! I have had enough of your constant interruptions! Sit down and wait your turn to speak!"

"But, I-"

"Sit down!"

America quickly retook his seat and Germany restarted his presentation, a vein still pulsing along his temple and he snarled the first few sentences out. Canada let out the breath he was holding; glad to have escaped the wrath of the nation at the front. His attention was drawn to America, who was trembling in his seat, eyes darting around the room in search for the mysterious force behind the strange happenings. Canada walked back across the room towards his brother, feeling Prussia's eyes on him the entire time, and stood behind America's chair. Canada thought for a moment, and then cautiously leaned forward around the shaking nation to one of the hamburgers that sat next to America's papers on the table. Pressing his fingers against the paper wrapper, Canada slowly began to drag the burger across the table, watching as America froze, his already wide blue eyes growing wider as they followed the mysteriously moving food.

Canada had managed to move the burger several inches before America screamed, pushing his chair away from the table. Those closest to Germany could hear his teeth grinding against each other. Everyone stared at the nation that had now brought his legs up in the chair with him and was rocking slightly. Canada watched as America held a shaky finger towards the burger. "Th-the hamburger! It-it m-m-moved!"

Prussia snorted, recovering himself quickly. "That's because of all the terrible ingredients you put into those things. It is probably alive and moving on its own accord." France shifted his gaze a seat over. "You could have at least learned something from England and cooked it until it was black and dead." England glared in return.

"If it pleases all of you, can I finish this presentation without any more interruptions?!" There were a few nods, and Germany started once again. Canada giggled quietly watching his brother. Playing with America had been rather fun, but why stop with America? Canada looked down at England who was taking perfect notes and France who was poised elegantly in his seat as he listened.

A moment or two of thought was all Canada needed and he quietly moved himself alongside the table next to England. Some careful maneuvering and Canada bent his leg to give England a sharp kick to his shin under the table. The British nation jumped, drawing a line across his page of notes with his pen. He directed the ugliest of glares he could muster across the table at France and hissed "You kicked me, you git!"

France scoffed in return. "I did no such thing. Don't speak such ugly lies."

"I would not lie!" England's voice rose slightly. "Apologize, wanker!"

France crossed his arms and stared back. "I will not apologize for something I did not do. You are simply making things up, like your imaginary friends."

"They are not imaginary!" England clenched his hands on the table. "And if you weren't busy trying to get into everyone's pants you would be able to see them!"

"Not everyone. I would never want anything to do with your ugly face."

Canada and Prussia watched in wide-eyed amusement as England launched himself over the table to tackle France. The rolled around on the floor, hands at each other's throats, growling out insults. Germany glanced at them long enough to notice what was happening, but didn't pay them any more attention and continuing forward in hopes to end the meeting some time that day. England and France fighting was hardly anything new.

Prussia was distracted watching the long time rivals take out their anger on each other that he didn't notice Canada eyeing his next victim. Russia would be much harder than the rest of them, but he had his weaknesses. Canada stopped beside Ukraine feeling a little sorry for using the kind female nation. He carefully extended a finger and pressed it gently against Ukraine's shoulder.

The desired effect was instantaneous. Ukraine burst into tears and Russia rushed from his seat to his sister's side. "Ukraine? Ukraine! What's wrong? Are you hurt?" The Russian panicked, unsure of how to respond to stop his sister from crying. While attempting to sort out the situation, Belarus mysteriously appeared alongside her siblings.

"Sister has always been a cry baby, you should not worry, brother." Russia looked at his younger sister, slightly worried at what she might do and attempting to decide if he needed to stay to help one sister or flee from the other. "Besides," Belarus continued, "you have me. You will _always_ have me." Russia gulped leaning away from his sisters as Belarus leaned forward.

Seeing a new opportunity, Canada nudged Belarus. She lost her balance falling onto Russia. She wasn't sure how she had ended up pressed against her brother, but Belarus was not about to lose this chance. Before Russia could react, Belarus had grabbed onto his coat with surprising strength and had wrapped herself around him. Canada and Prussia were not the only ones to watch as the large nation tried to desperately pry one sister off and console the other that was still crying. Poland and the Baltics giggled quietly as they watched from their seats.

Amused and now emboldened at his work, Canada focused on Romano who was still trying to push Spain away from him. Prussia watched with a wide grin as Canada sidled alongside the unaware nation. It was quick and simple; Canada blew gently against Romano's ear. There was a loud "CHIGI!" and the Italian ended up in the shocked Spaniard's lap. Romano was in tears, clutching to Spain and yelling "Save me, Spain bastard!" and Spain was laughing cheerfully, wrapping his arms around Romano's waist and crying "You really do care Romano!"

Switzerland gave a disgusted look as he watched. Prussia could hear Germany growl out in German something along the lines of "couldn't wait until after the meeting…" Italy was unsure of why his brother was so upset, but whatever it was that scared him was making Venciano nervous too and he scooted his chair towards the front to be closer to Germany should the thing find him next. Prussia could barely contain his laughter, his shoulders shaking as he watched the pleased smile of the invisible Canadian.

China was a bit more difficult, but as Canada thought his eyes caught sight of Japan sitting a few seats away. Picking up a pen and a slip of paper, Canada scrawled a quick note and slid it carefully among China's notes. It took a minute for China to see the folded piece of paper, and curious opened it, quickly reading it. China's face brightened and he jumped out of his seat and raced down the table grabbing Japan in a tight hug. "Of course you can be my little brother again, aru!"

"Eh?" Japan tried to free himself from China's grasp but wasn't having any luck. "How did you come to that conclusion?"

"It was all on the note you sent me!" China beamed not releasing the smaller Asian. "I have never been so glad to receive such a note, aru! I glad that you are willing to set aside your differences and join me again!"

"I sent no such note!" Japan panicked, trying to understand how China had determined this so suddenly. Korea watched, interested in what was happening and throwing in the offer, "I don't mind what you two do, as long as Japan's breasts are still mine, daze!"

Canada looked around the room of chaos. America was still shivering, curled up in his seat, his eyes never leaving the hamburger on the table waiting for any sign of movement. England and France were still scuffling on the floor, now covered in bumps and bruises. Russia had yet to manage anything with either one of his sisters. Spain was still laughing and holding the struggling Italian on his lap who had recovered enough of his senses at this point to try to escape from the nation's clutches. Japan and China were busy arguing over the validity of a note, trying to reason with each other and failing miserably. It was quite the mess of a meeting, but Canada felt he had one last thing he needed to do and he made his way towards the front of the room, towards where a frustrated Germany was trying to get through the meeting with some sanity intact.

Germany's laptop was plugged into the projector displaying his presentation. Canada studied the screen, recalling everything his brother had ever mentioned about the endless possibilities to mess with computers. Canada pressed a button on the keyboard making the next slide appear and Germany paused looking very confused. He pressed a button on his remote causing the correct slide to reappear. Canada pressed another button causing the previous slide to appear. Germany pressed another button on his remote, bringing the correct slide up again, and starring accusingly at the computer, as if daring it to do something again. Canada looked back to Prussia who was now watching with interest at to what the Canadian was going to do. Canada smiled sweetly and then pounced on Germany's laptop, vigorously attacking the keyboard.

Germany watched in horror as his presentation disappeared and was replaced with a video file that began to play on the large screen at the front of the meeting room. Those who were left paying attention to the meeting were in for a surprise as the boring slides were replaced with intriguing bondage clip straight out of Germany's private collection on his laptop. Prussia lost it, laughing loudly and pounding the table with his fist. Austria stuttered at such a rude display. Next to him, Hungary was trying to mop up the nose bleed she had suddenly been stricken with. Denmark started laughing loudly earning a harsh smack to the back of his head from Norway while Iceland turned red and attempted to slide beneath the table. Sweden was quick to throw both his hands over the eyes of Finland and Sealand, Sealand protesting and asking "But what are they doing?" Greece suddenly woke up and began watching the clip with interest, humming his approval at the scene.

Germany was quickly at his laptop, pressing buttons in hast trying to stop the video but having no effect at making the clip disappear or to make the volume decrease from its increased setting. Panicked that his efforts were not working, Germany grabbed the plug that lead to the projector, pulling it swiftly out and making the large screen go blank but still leaving the problem of the loud moaning that was coming from the speakers. Germany slammed the laptop shut, face a bright shade of red as he looked to the rest of the room.

"Perhaps we can adjourn for today-"

The words were barely out his mouth before America was outside of the room, making a break for the exit and leaving all of his things behind. Close behind him was Russia, slowed down by the added weight of Belarus who was still awkwardly clinging to him. Russia was crying as he exited, still trying to pry his younger sister off him, and telling her "The meeting is done. Go home!" The next ones were Japan who was closely followed by China yelling "But I don't understand, aru!"

Sweden attempted to usher both Finland and Sealand from the room. Finland looked shaken and Sealand kept asking about what had happened with the people on the screen. Hungry was trying to reassure a worried Austria that she was fine. Spain carried Romano out of the room, the Italian shouting curses and attempting to escape. England and France's fight had quieted enough for them to exit the room, however they still had a hold of each other and were shouting insults as they left.

Italy looked confused, head turning back and forth between the big screen and the blushing German trying to pack his things as quickly as possible. "Germany… That was-"

"We're not discussing it." Germany responded quickly, taking the last of his things and following the last of the crowd out the door. Italy floated along behind him.

The meeting room now empty, Canada headed back to his seat, picking up his papers and gently lifting Kumajiko off of the floor. The polar bear yawned and said "Whoever you are, feed me. I'm hungry."

"Birdie, that was awesome. And I know awesome." Canada smiled softly at Prussia who was still laughing at the mayhem of a meeting that had just occurred. "Seriously though, we need to set up a system so that the next time we're at a boring meeting you can get us out of it."

Canada blushed nervously. "Uh… Next time?"


End file.
